The Study Abroad Comfort Zone

I have discovered I’m a terrible blogger. With so many new and exciting things happening this past month, I am completely overwhelmed about what to write about and what is important to share with my friends and family. But yesterday as I sat on my couch writing detailed and hilarious (if I do say so myself) accounts of the different beach trips I’ve gone on, my first attempts at surfing, bungee jumping, crashing an ATV, whale-watching, hiking, my first professional soccer game (and my obnoxious over-use of a vuvuzuela), the Cape Town hipster club scene, the different museums/gardens/antique markets my friends and I go to when we skip school on Thursdays, and everything else that perplexes me and amazes me about this diverse city, our cleaning lady, Lorna struck up a fascinating conversation.

Now, first of all I’m sure you are thinking – a group of 20 year old American study abroad students have cleaning ladies? But truthfully our program does it more for the community than for us. They employ three women from a nearby township to come and clean twice a week to put jobs and money back into the community. My peers and I at first were a little taken aback by this privilege and a little uncomfortable that there were people working for us. But also if you know me at all, and my love for Phyllis, you understand that I obviously struck up quite a relationship with these women.

Lorna, who specifically cleans my house, at 26, is by far younger than the other two, and loves to talk about life in America. Today, she was showing me pictures of her beautiful baby daughter and her boyfriend – who she told me was not such a nice guy. It was so hard for me to put aside my Western bias and not just tell her to get out of a bad relationship, to not put up with a man that hurts her or doesn’t support her career. “Listen Judy, I’m not that much older than you, but at some point you tell yourself – I’m young, I’m beautiful, I don’t need to care so much about this guy. I’m my own women, I make my own money. And that’s a gift. And in the end, it will all work out.” She continued telling me about her life before Cape Town, when she lived up north working on a farm from 6 AM to 6 PM with only thirty minutes break. And even now, Lorna is the only one of her eight siblings to be working, and supports and cares for all of them. Yet she told me all this with a smile, happy and proud of herself for what she has accomplished. As we continued talking she told me that I must be “brave” for going so far away from home, from leaving my comfort zone and going on a “big adventure.” I could not fathom how she could look at me and see me as the brave one.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to get caught up in the American life here, only hanging out with my American peers, going to clubs or cafes where the study abroad students hang out. Although a critical part of the experience is the adventure sports, the beautiful tourist attractions, and experiencing the university/night-life, I also did come abroad to learn a different culture, to have these conversations with a woman I would never have known otherwise.