Lost In Translation

I'm still waiting for the day when I can actually consider myself fluent in Spanish. Before going abroad most of the students on my program had this magical expectation that within weeks we'd be waxing philosophic in class and chatting it up with every Cuban we met. Well, the fantasy hasn't exactly become a reality. Besides trying to accustom ourselves to the strong and fast Cuban accent, we've learned that there is an entirely different dialect used by most kids our age. Hanging out in the park or on street corners for hours(a very popular way to spend a weekday or weekend night) Cubañol can be heard firing rapidly out of every mouth. Cubañol is more than just slang or abrevs- it's a language in and of itself. "Bonche" means "party". "Hechame las pintas"- "explain it to me." And, my personal favorite, "come vidrio de marca" indicates someone is really ugly (like they ate glass and it left a mark?). I think about how "exclusive" the dialect of my friends is back home, how so much of our humor comes from wordplay or inside jokes, and it's crazy to think of all that in another language.
In addition to trying to seem "cool" and peppering my speech with Cubañol (which, more times than not, just solicits the reaction of people laughing in my face at how "un-Cubañol" I am), I've also tried to learn the many idioms that make Spanish in Cuba so expressive . A lot of it involves fruit. "Pura guayaba" (literally translating to "pure guava") means "bullshit. "Cojer mangos bajitos" (literally "to gather the low-hanging mangos"..similar to low-hanging fruit in English) signifies trying to go for what's easiest. Fittingly, there is a song that calls Cuba "la tierra de los mangos bajitos."
So far the word that seems to pack the biggest punch is "suave." Pronunced "swa-vay" (not like the shampoo brand...dad), the word can fit in almost any situation, but generally involves being smooth, soft, or fluid with movements. It's an important "essence" Cubans are masters of and us jerky, awkward Americans, sadly lack. Some top "suave" moments.

1. Getting taught salsa in a dance club. My many missteps and incorrect sways of the hip led my middle-aged dance partner to constantly repeat "suave, suave, suave." At one point he told me I was too "eléctrica" which- even though I wanted to be optimistic and assume meant I was full of exciting electric energy- is probably a bad thing.



2. When mixing any drink. A well-mixed mojito, cuba libre, or cubanito (rum and tomato juice) is always considered "suave." When we tried to mix our own drinks our Cuban friends merely took a sip and said "no." I guess a simple R. Kelly style "coke and rum" does not a cuba libre make.

3. When horse back riding in Viñales. We all tried to look as effortless in the saddle as the cowboy-style tobacco ranchers around us, but after it took us a good thirty seconds to get our feet in the stirrups without assistance, it was clear we wouldn't be as "suave" as we hoped.

4. In cars. The 1960s taxis here are delicate. Every time I absent-mindedly slam a maquina door it's met with a wince and "¡SUAVE!" by the driver.

5. When I played baseball with kids in a fishing village. Wherever there is an open space there are kids with a tiny bouncy ball and a stick (baseballs, bats and mits are hard to come by). I tried to put my high school softball skills to the test, but after my first strike the 9-year-old catcher had to instruct the pitcher to go "suavecito" for me.